Thursday, February 5, 2009

Yet Another Jake Cuenca Blind Item



There's no more denying that Jake Cuenca gets all the biggest roles among the numerous young actors in the stables of ABS-CBN. No wonder, the juicy projects he has achieved are kind of absurd to fathom for some. Let's all admit, Jake is not really as bankable like Gerald Anderson or as good acting-wise like John Lloyd Cruz. Why is he getting all the meat, while the rest like Sam Milby, Zanjoe Marudo and Piolo Pascual are eclipsed by him?

For one, as a newcomer from a rival network, he was given a title role in Palos opposite no less than Cesar Montano. That was a flop in viewer ratings, but he is still getting major projects. Another trail-blazing achievement is to be cast as the other leading man in the hottest love team in Philippine showbiz -- Gerald Anderson and Kim Chiu. Not once, but twice -- in Sana Maulit Muli and the latest is Tayong Dalawa. Compared to other major actors like Piolo, he got to be paired with KC Conception first in the I am KC series. There are even bigger projects ahead of him, like the TV version of Nardong Putik.

Wow.. That may be the reason why his "success" is the subject of scrutiny. Like in this blind item:

Pete-Tik
‘Polka-dotted actor’ natalbugan ng ‘cock teaser’ newcomer by Pete Alpoquinto

Hindi naman kaguwapuhan, ‘di naman katangkaran, at lalong ‘di naman kagalingang umarte.

Kadalasan nga’y nagsa-sayang ng negatibo, pero super-hot sa isang giant network ang young actor na ‘to. Why is that so?

Ang totoo niyan, most young males in that network are envious of his enormous luck. Lahat nga naman ng importanteng soap o teevee series ay join siya, at siya si-yempre ang isa sa mga lead characters. But how did his winning streaks start?

Well, he was the featured guest in that fantaserye that served as the launching vehicle of this young actor who was then the flavor of the season of this in-fluencial gay executive.

At dahil sa ‘cock tea-ser’ ang young actor na kali-lipat lang noon from a rival network, kapag nagbibihis raw ito ay itinataon na nasa set ang vaklush na executive na na-turned-on naturalmen-te sa kanyang absolutely flawless skin tone at fairly, adequate (fairly adequate raw, o! Hahahahaha) bulge.

At dahil sa kanyang pagi-ging exhibitionist, naintriga siyempre ang vaklushi at na-realize niyang polka dot beauty pala ang bagets na kanyang bini-build-up. Harharhar!

Absolutely flawless kasi ang katawan ng eksenador na ombre samantalang dahil laki sa hirap, may mga diyes at bente singko ang bagets na lead actor sa fantaserye. Hahahahahaha! Puhleezzzzeeeeeee!

Anyway, his good fortune was the polka-dotted actor’s funeral. Oo nga’t na-ririyan pa rin siya kahit papaano, pero tinalbugan siya nang todu-todo ng ‘cock tea-ser’ na aktor dahil magagandang projects at lead roles ang napupunta rito.

Pa’no, ‘di naman siya all-out sa hadahan unlike dito sa bagong lipat na ombaw na tongue-to- tongue kissing ang alam at ginagawa raw talagang girl na girl ang vaklu-shing gay executive. Hakhakhak!

On top of that, he’s got a gorgeous body that’s absolutely a joy to behold for its satiny feel. Hakhakhak!

Also, pinkish daw ang kanyang nota kaya gigil na gigil ang gay executive. Hahahahahahahairia! Puhleezzzeeeeee! Anyway, it was agonizing for the former lover of the gay executive.

Talagang nawalan siya ng career nang dumating ang eksenador na young actor na may pagka-cleft palate (po-ngetizingly yours vagah! Hakhakhak!) ang beauty. Hakhakhak!

Talbog kasi silang lahat sa kama. Pero, tama ang isang pasaway na aktor sa kanyang pronouncements laban sa flawless na pahadang young actor.

Hindi nga naman ito kagalingang umarte. Simpleng dialog nga raw ay ‘di ma-memorize at kadalasan ay paulit-ulit ang take para makuha niya ang isang simpleng eksena.

Oras na may dumating na ‘bago’, siguradong relegated siya sa background for he’s not and will never be a John Lloyd Cruz or a Jericho Rosales.

He’s not even a Baron Geisler. Hahaha! Period. Walang comma!


The polka-dotted actor is clearly Matt Evans. After playing Pedro Penduko, where Jake is merely a support cast, Matt has no projects lately. To think, Matt has proven his bankability among the televiewers because Pedro Penduko was a big hit in terms of ratings. Where is Matt Evans now? He's moonlighting in ABC 5 to keep himself busy.

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2 comments:

  1. uhmm..di ko maxadong naintidihan ang article na ito..sino ba ang pahada?..ang polka-dotted actor c matt,si jake,?sya yung exhibitionist or si matt?

    ReplyDelete
  2. si jake and exhibitionist, ang polkadotted actor si matt.. kasi mahirap lng ito at mejo galisin nung bata pa cya..

    ReplyDelete

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